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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Thank you

First of all I wanted to thank you all for your comments lately, they mean a lot to me to know people out there really care. Also those of you who left comments on Izzaks blog are awesome! Really I mean it. He really loved getting them and not only that he was actually wanting to read them himself and he hates to read.

Kelly left the house about 5:30 this morning I woke up with him to see him go. Izzak did to. Honestly it was one of the hardest things for me not to beg him to just stay here but I know why he is going and hopefully things will be better for us after all this. I did go to work. I figured it would be better for me to go and stay busy so I could get my mind on something else otherwise I probably would have ended up staying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself and thats not good for me or my kids.

You see I can be high maintenance. Not in the sense of wanting things or gifts or anything but I require a lot of attention mostly from my hubby and he knows that. He is very good about giving it to me. My favorite gift from him is a night alone together just talking and hanging out together. That is why this is hard for me. I know we will be fine we can do this and its not like he is completely gone he is accessible by phone for know and I know if something happened he would be here as soon as a plane could get him here. Its just the fact that I have only rarely slept in my own bed by myself a few times since I was 18 and four months of not having him to cuddle up to ..... well thats hard for me. Also to be honest and this is going to sound silly since I am 29+3 but ....okay heres my secret.....I'm still afraid of the dark! How sad is that? I convince my kids every night that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark and I am afraid of it myself... It's just weird. That and I love having my hubby next to me to cuddle up to.

Izzak has been doing okay he is taking his anxiety meds though regularly I spoke to his dr and after monday we don't want to lose control of it again as he can go downhill really fast. He seems fine though today and I hope to only have to give him the meds for a couple weeks at most and then just as needed.

The others are fine with it at the moment. A little extra clingy but fine otherwise. Kenzie did something at school today and I think she strained her neck though so she has been laying on the couch with a heat pad on her neck all evening. Yesterday I had bought a scrapbook for Kelly to take so I printed up some recent pics of the kids and gave them what they needed and let them go wild. He really liked it but he did tear up while going through it.

Again thank you all for your comments. That is one of the things I like about this blog. I feel like I can poor my heart out and people are there to let me know they are listening. I really love you guys.........

16 people had something to say:

la bellina mammina said...

hang in there! time flies before you know it. why don't you take this opportunity to keep in touch with friends with an evening out?

Emma in Canada said...

Glad to hear the first day went ok! Hope the first night does as well.

nailgirl24 said...

HUGS!! hANG IN THERE!!

nailgirl24 said...

HUGS!! hANG IN THERE!!

PortraitofPeter said...

You are all on the right track!!

Stay with it and share together.

Terri, leave the "light-on" - as you would for the kids.

Thoughts of all of you.

Beccy said...

After you've conquered the first night hopefully it will get easier.

The scrapbook was a fantastic idea.

Kila said...

I love having the bed to myself when my DH works nights. But usually during the night one of the boys takes his place!

You and the kids could have slumber parties ;)

Amy W said...

I am afraid of the dark as well...you are not alone!

Heather said...

Hey Terri... I always leave the light on when Randal is away at night. And almost always one of the girls climbs in with me... usually Janelle... I know it's not the same as your hubby but it seems to help for some crazy reason. I bet this will turn out to be a real stretching and growing time for you... And it'll turn out just great.. you'll see! :oD
Heather

miraclebaby said...

I hope this time goes by fast. Hang in there!

frannie said...

I am afraid of the dark, too. and when PapaT is away? I am terrified of the dark. He went away for a couple of days a few months ago and I slept with 3 lights on. and I'm a year older than you!

I agree with having slumber parties with the kids. they can take turns sleeping with mom.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to!

love you!

Kitty said...

I know just how you feel, I am "high maintenance" in exactly the same way you are. I need tons of attention from my husband, too. (Your line at the top about needing validation is cute, but it is SO ME that it's sad!!!) Also I am terrified of the dark.

I went through a divorce a few years ago and so was a single mom of 4 for a short while. In a way it's kind of similar to what you're going through, esp. because I REALLY missed my husband. I slept with the lights on, kept myself as busy as I could, and always tried to think of special activities to do with the kids. You'll get through this tough time, I know you will!!!

HeiressChild said...

hi terri,

my computer is back up and running. i have to go back and read your previous posts, but i see your husband has left for alaska. i know it'll be tough, but the time will pass by so quick before you are re-united again. i have a lamp with a 15-watt light bulb in my bedroom that i keep on all nite. i'm glad you'll be able to talk with your husband by phone while he's gone. you take care of yourself and your family, and i'll be back to read the previous posts.

HeiressChild said...

beautiful blog.

PortraitofPeter said...

With you all - in thoughts!!

So wonderful to see so many of your "blogging friends" supporting you at this time.

Jocelyn said...

Oh, sweetie--time to sleep with the kids...or with the tv on...or anything that works