Thank you

First of all I wanted to thank you all for your comments lately, they mean a lot to me to know people out there really care. Also those of you who left comments on Izzaks blog are awesome! Really I mean it. He really loved getting them and not only that he was actually wanting to read them himself and he hates to read.

Kelly left the house about 5:30 this morning I woke up with him to see him go. Izzak did to. Honestly it was one of the hardest things for me not to beg him to just stay here but I know why he is going and hopefully things will be better for us after all this. I did go to work. I figured it would be better for me to go and stay busy so I could get my mind on something else otherwise I probably would have ended up staying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself and thats not good for me or my kids.

You see I can be high maintenance. Not in the sense of wanting things or gifts or anything but I require a lot of attention mostly from my hubby and he knows that. He is very good about giving it to me. My favorite gift from him is a night alone together just talking and hanging out together. That is why this is hard for me. I know we will be fine we can do this and its not like he is completely gone he is accessible by phone for know and I know if something happened he would be here as soon as a plane could get him here. Its just the fact that I have only rarely slept in my own bed by myself a few times since I was 18 and four months of not having him to cuddle up to ..... well thats hard for me. Also to be honest and this is going to sound silly since I am 29+3 but ....okay heres my secret.....I'm still afraid of the dark! How sad is that? I convince my kids every night that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark and I am afraid of it myself... It's just weird. That and I love having my hubby next to me to cuddle up to.

Izzak has been doing okay he is taking his anxiety meds though regularly I spoke to his dr and after monday we don't want to lose control of it again as he can go downhill really fast. He seems fine though today and I hope to only have to give him the meds for a couple weeks at most and then just as needed.

The others are fine with it at the moment. A little extra clingy but fine otherwise. Kenzie did something at school today and I think she strained her neck though so she has been laying on the couch with a heat pad on her neck all evening. Yesterday I had bought a scrapbook for Kelly to take so I printed up some recent pics of the kids and gave them what they needed and let them go wild. He really liked it but he did tear up while going through it.

Again thank you all for your comments. That is one of the things I like about this blog. I feel like I can poor my heart out and people are there to let me know they are listening. I really love you guys.........