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Saturday, May 05, 2007

It hit me today....

Kelly leaves on Wednesday that means just 4 days from now. I know I have been saying its coming soon for awhile but, it hit me today.

I just felt kind of off all day. I wasn't in a terrible mood or depressed or anything just kind of off....

I could tell he could see it and he didn't really know why and I didn't want to say anything because he is really busy right now and a bit stressed.....but honestly I can't beleive by this time next week he will be gone and I won't see him for 4 months. We have been together for 14 years and never seperated for more then a week or 2. I married him right out of high school and was never on my own really. He has always been the one to deal with the bills and making sure they get paid and he is much better when it comes to disciplining the kids.

I worry I am going to screw something up bills, kids, etc..... I'm I being crazy?

I went out on a girls night with some friends from work tonight we had fun and it was actually good for me. I had thought about backing out since he is leaving but decided it would probably be good for me to get out for a bit and think about something else.

Anyway sorry for whining....I just needed to get it out

17 people had something to say:

Beccy said...

I totally understand how you feel, bills aside when you are used to having someone there to rely on and share things with you are bound to feel apprehensive and four months does seem like a long time. At least communication is easier now with the internet and I'm sure the four months will fly by whilst the children keep you busy. Maybe if you focus on how your life will change for the better when you get to Alaska it will help you through the next few months.

PortraitofPeter said...

I have got to agree with Beccy - she has been able to express wonderfully - in words of support for you. Far better than I ever could and certainly never having experienced.

Remain focused on the positive aspects - your move to Alaska and your wonderful husband waiting for you and the months will soon fly by.

Pleased you enjoyed your evening out - it was probably just what you needed most and to now enjoy the the few days remaining with Kelly before he sets leaves to prepare your new home in Alaska.

frannie said...

I know it will be tough, but you will get through it. and just think how much better things will be once your whole family is there and settled in in your new place in Alaska!
and as beccy and peter said- I'm sure the kids will keep you busy. and when you get sad, just have Maddie sing to you. that would make anyone feel better!

ChrisB said...

It's never easy managing by yourself, I expect Kelly feels just as anxious because he is leaving you all behind. You'll have the children to take up your time and your blogging buddies will be ready to listen any time you need a cheery word. The internet does make a huge difference and maybe you can hook up to skype.

Wendy said...

You always have us! :) I know it will be really hard with him gone, but you are an amazingly strong woman, whether you think so or not. You will get through this, and it will soon be a memory for you! Better things are just round the corner!

alissa said...

It'll likely be tough at first, but soon enough you'll get used to the independence - and hopefully you have some good friends & family nearby to help you out while Kelly is gone.

As for paying the bills - that's easy. They come, pay them the same day. If the funds aren't there that day, write post-dated cheques (or pay post dated online) for when the funds will be available. That way you don't mistakenly forget about any.

Alaska - Wow!! (Forgive me, I'm a new reader..) I've been there once, on a cruise, and it is absolutely beautiful!

nailgirl24 said...

Terri, why is leaving for four months?? Is he buying a house for you guys?? Why dont yo all go together??

la bellina mammina said...

Trust me, it may seem tough the first few days, but it'll between paying bills, organising your move and the kids, I bet you, 4 months will whizz past and before you know it, all of you will be together again - be strong!

Jocelyn said...

Oh, I feel for you. A good partner is so rare--and then we so easily get used to it! You *should* be feeling sad and scared and agitated and all. But it will be worth it.

Emma in Canada said...

I've spent more time away from William than with him- granted, we've not been together as long as you guys have! I think you'll get into a routine pretty quickly, and you will be so busy getting ready that it will go by quickly!

scribbit said...

Good luck playing the sing-parent. HOpe the next few months go well.

PortraitofPeter said...

Terri,

I hope the wise comments said here by your "blogging friends" - will give you strength and the confidence and equally for you to know - they are all there for you too!!

Debbie said...

Terri,

It will be scary at first but you WILL get through this and you will NOT screw it up. If you make a mistake that's all it is - a mistake. You'll still be in contact with your husband, right? If you have questions regarding his system of paying bills or whatever make sure you ask. I think it'll make him feel appreciated not stressed.

My husband worked away from home for several years. He's be home for the weekend then gone for a week or two or sometimes more. That's certainly not four months, I know, but I think I can relate on some level. The first time he left, I had fear well up inside my chest and throat. I had a new baby (my first born). Eeeek! How am I going to do this?!! And then I did.

The fear of it is worse than the reality of it.

I don't think you're whining by the way. It IS hard. Express your concerns anytime.

Kitty said...

No, you're not whining at all!! I think most of us would feel exactly the same way... Try not to worry though, you will be able to handle everything that you need to. Also, you will be so busy, the time really will fly by. When my husband had to be away a lot during the first year we were together (he was in the military) and I did have down time where I got depressed, I would bake cookies to send to him or do some project around the house that I knew he would like to see when he got back. Keeping busy is the key!! :-)

Heather said...

yes Terri it is hard....but you'll do okay... like someone else said... you're a strong woman. One trick I use on myself when I'm feeling anxious is I pray for peace.
I pray this verse OUT LOUD.
I don't know why but it seems to help if my ears actually hear the words..?

Rejoice in the Lord always… Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. AND THE PEACE OF GOD WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS IN CHRIST JESUS. Finally, brothers, whatever is true…think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9)

When my daughter was having problems with bad dreams this is what I told her. I said lets pray this verse (the part I highlighted)-Now... since we prayed this we know that this peace is guarding your heart and mind.If peace is guarding your heart and mind then fear (bad dreams in her case) cannot come in because God's Peace is on guard.
That night was the first of No bad dreams after that. I now use this on myself when I'm feeling anxious and God's peace just fills me! I hope you don't mind this loooong comment!
By the way... I'm not saying you shouldn't miss Kelly... just that you can have peace and not fear while you're alone!! yahoo!!!
take care!
Heather

Steffi said...

I agree too with Beccy and Frannie and all others.You are a strong woman and you will see the time go quick away.I was over 4 years alone with my 2 girls at home because Andre was stationed in a other town with the army.He come home only two times in month.Yes,it will be hard at the first time for you!But you are not alone because you have all of us your blog-friends ;O)!

Greetings,Steffi

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

You're going to miss him like crazy.
That's a good thing.

You're going to learn to take care of all the bills.
That's a good thing.

You're going to be strong for your children and prepare them for life in Alaska.
That's a good thing.

You're all going to be together again sooner than you think.
That's a good thing.

You trust in God to lead you, to guide you, and to care for you.
That's the best thing.

You are growing.

Blessings to you.