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Monday, May 21, 2007

Irritated!! or something..........

See this picture here? This is how I feel towards my fil right now.

Why?

Because he apparently thinks he knows everything.

The boys had a campout this weekend with their Ranger group. It was a father son campout and since their dad is in Alaska right now they asked Kellys dad to go with them. Okay so you all know that the boys both take different meds right? Well so does my fil. He had the meds and Izzak was instructed to give it to the leader to make sure they got them along with the instructions, the check for the trip and the permission slips. So if they were all in the same bag together why did he get everything but the meds? I'm still trying to figure that out. All I know is that my fil did not give the boys their meds this whole weekend. I know there are varying opinions on med for kids with ADHD but honestly with Joshua we had tried everything before deciding to put him on anything. He has no sense of consequences for one. I'm convinced without them he would have killed himself by now because of the crazy things he does. Also he is actually able to pay attention to teachers and get work done. Something that would have been good for this trip. My fil did not give him those and only comment. "I don't know why he takes those? He doesn't need them" Hmm not what I heard from the other leaders and that fact that Joshua lost his fishing pole, tackle box, Izzaks leatherman tool and several other not so cheap things because he runs from one thing to another and loses things and the tool and the fishing pole where lost to the lake. He was goofing around and the items fell in along with the orrs and almost the kids as well. Thats just one of the stories.

And Izzaks? Was his reflux meds. He already takes a pretty high dose of meds and has needed to have increased and another med added at the moment because his voice is going because he is refluxing so bad. He came home with no voice and I am now having to work on that more. He said he didn't think Izzak really has acid reflux because he ate speggetti and didn't get heartburn. His reflux was diagnosed after several tests to make sure with the top pediatric gastrointerologist in the area. She is very well respected.

So apparently he knows better then the child psychiatrist and pediatritian when it comes to Joshua. Also he seems to know better then tests and a gastrointerologist when it comes to Izzak.
He doesn't see why I have them on anything. He's also the one who tries to insist that Izzak doesn't have learning disabilities! You know if he knows so much about this stuff why does he have his low wage job and not a job as a psychiatrist, pediatrician, gastrointerologist and developmental specialist? I know they all make more money then he does.

So today? I got the boys back on their meds. Joshua had a bad day at school it takes a couple of days for the meds to really kick in. Izzak has no voice and missed school because he is refluxing so bad his voice is gone and that is not a good thing.

I would say something more to him but I don't think it matters. He feels he knows more and actually enjoys the argument no matter how much I try not to make it an argument. It makes me feel that there is no way the boys or girls for that matter can go somewhere with him for more then a couple of hours when they aren't due for any of their medications.

Which makes me the bad guy in everyones opinion. I was told recently that I don't try very hard to get along with my fil's new wife partly because I didn't buy her a mothers day card. Well she isn't my mother, she's not Kellys mother (oh no, don't even mess that up around Kelly! She is not his mother!), and she is not my kids grandmother nor does she act like it. In fact she has been very rude and many times inappropriat when talking to my kids but I'm the one who is not trying to make nice. How is that?

So what is your opinion? Am I getting to upset over this? Am I wrong? What would you do? I mean medications and such are important things, its just being responsible to make sure they have them.

19 people had something to say:

la bellina mammina said...

So sorry to hear about Izzak & Joshua & hopefully they'll feel better soon.

All I will say is - men think they know everything and that they're always right. No other comment apart from that.

Do what you think is right - they're your kids after all.

PortraitofPeter said...

Your fil is unreal - any kid should never be without his/her meds!!

Just look on the bright side Terri, you will be in Alaska - very soon.

And with look your fil - will not be allowed over the border!!

"Stiff Upper Lip" - as they say in London!!

Here in Scotland it would have been a "Glasgow Kiss" for your fil - don't ask!!

Kitty said...

There are few things more frustrating than sending your kids off to be cared for by someone else, and having them not respect the way you are trying to raise them, whether it's values, rules, and even healthcare decisions, which you made with doctors!!

Trust me, I can feel your frustration. My older four go to their dad and stepmom's 2-3 weekends a month. They don't give my son his asthma meds or the creams/ soap they need for their sensitive skin, give them food I don't like and let the girls wear clothes no little girls should wear. They come home from there with rashes/ upset stomachs and it's MY fault somehow. I could go on and on!!! And then to top it all WE are the ignorant ones, because we don't have jobs that earn as much money as they do. Oh, it's enough to make me need MY reflux meds!! :-)

So your question, are you wrong? NOPE. Are you getting too upset? You are justified in being very upset, no doubt about it, but it probably won't help the situation and it's not good for you to stress out with your husband gone and all... at least you can still control the situation and not let them go with him again. So try not to stress out or dwell on it, for your own peace of mind. I tell you this, but every Sunday night and often into Monday, I am so worked up and upset over what I hear about the kids' weekend!!! I should heed my own advice!! :-)

Melanie said...

You are not upset over nothing! I think you are totally right. They are your kids and you know what is best for them.

Beccy said...

They are your children and you and Kelly made your decisions, after careful consideration, about what was best for your children. You've seen the benefits and you know what is best for your children. Your fil should respect that and should have given them everything thet were due.

I hope harmony soon returns to your household.

That Chick Over There said...

If someone did that to my children? I would be livid! You are totally in the right here Terri!

Jungle Mom said...

I hear alot of people talk against these meds, but they rarely are the ones who need them. I would be upset, too!

Amy W said...

I don't think you are wrong, meds are pretty freaking important and they should have been given. I hope Izaak feels better soon...

Emma in Canada said...

I think you are totally in the right, I would be really pissed off.

Oh, and thanks for posting a picture of the cards. I tried leaving a comment the other day but I don't think it went through. I'm glad you're keeping the friend card for yourself.

frannie said...

it shouldn't matter whether he thinks they should be on the meds or not! You are their MOTHER and you think they should and he needs to follow your rules. period. if not, I am with you- he can't be trusted to be alone with them for an extended period of time.

sorry you are dealing with such a jerk!!

Kila said...

Oh, I know what you're dealing with. My middle son has it all--autism, ADHD, bipolar, learning disabilities, sensory issues, etc. Without meds he can not function at all, and even with meds he's not close to "normal". He inherited this stuff from DH's side of the family, and since they are the same way, they see nothing wrong with my son and don't know why he needs therapies and meds and extra help at school, etc. Drives me crazy.

If I were you, I'd be mad, too. You're the parent, and other adults need to do what you tell them to.

Heather said...

I would stop trying to justify what you do with your kids... it's NONE of his business!! I would just tell him it doesn't really matter what he thinks about it.. it's not up for discussion and that's just the way it is whether HE likes it or not... and as far as his wife.. yeah.. whatever...she's no ones mom.. so why would you buy her a M.D card?!?
As you can see I'm really not into playing mind games!!! :O))
I hope I don't sound like a b@#%@, but you know... enough is enough and by the sounds of it... you're there!
hope things settle quickly with the boys...take care..
Heather

la bellina mammina said...

Now I'm curious Peter, Whats a 'glasgow kiss'???

Debbie said...

Man oh man. I think it's terrible that he arbitrarily decided not to give them their meds!! I'd be really angry. Grrrr!!

Jenny said...

You are 100% in the right.

Stephanie said...

1) You are the mom. HE should respect YOUR rules and wishes.

2) He's not a medical professional. Impersonating a physician is a felony.

3) I know what a "Glasgow Kiss" is, and portraitofpeter is right in mentioning it.

4) You are not a "bad guy." You are a GREAT MOMMY, and they are stirring the pot and pulling the victim card. Shame on them!!

5) Jordan kicked butt on AI last night. Off topic, but true.

Susie PSU said...

As a mom and teacher, you are SO right. They are YOUR kids. They are YOUR responsiblity. And you entrusted them to your father-in-law. If he can't do as you request, perhaps I wouldn't be so quick to let him have them again, and I'd explain to the boys why. they are old enought to understand that without thinking that you are just "being a meanie".
I hope things get back to normal for you guys soon. I'm sure it frustrating to have taken the time to get the boys to the dr.'s, just to have to re-start their medicines. Sorry - hang in there, ok?

Scribbit said...

Oh how tough for you. I've had good luck, my inlaws are odd and distant but at least they don't meddle with my mothering.

So sorry.

elena jane said...

sorry to hear that he didn't heed the instructions with the meds and is being such a pitb. they are YOUR kids, you make the rules.
don't feel bad...ils are just plain weird.
and hope that izzak was back to normal...