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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Making a Move.

By Beccy

I am such a dipstick! When Terri was looking for guests writers I jumped in there and volunteered, then what did I do...I clean forgot!!!

So when I agreed to write this post I thought of what a great adventure Terri and her family were facing and how brave they were. It reminded me of the time I moved from the UK to Ireland. Dillon was 18 months old when we moved and as much as I was excited at the thought of owning our own house I was more than apprehensive about moving away from my family and friends. We spent a lot of time searching for a house. I didn't know Dublin at all but Joules was born and bred there so whatever house that was in our (modest) price range was met with 'I'm not living there' or 'I want to be on the dart (train) line I'm not getting a bus to work each day'. After a year of looking we were beginning to despair. I was wondering if we would ever find a house. Then one day my mother-in-law saw a small newspaper ad for a company which matched people with houses for a very nominal fee (charged to the seller). We rang them and told them our budget and the area we wanted to live in. We couldn't believe it when she gave us a house to look at in the area all the pop stars/musicians/directors/actors etc live in, how could we afford to live there.

The moment we entered the small estate I knew this was a place I could to live in. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the road was full of small children playing in the sunshine and parents chatting. The house was perfect for us and within our price range so we made an offer which the seller accepted, we later found out that others had made offers but she turned them down because she didn't warm to them, luckily for us. So the house was ours.

Two months later we moved in. My dad drove a van over from the UK full of beds, sofas, table, chairs etc etc. I spent a week unpacking boxes then mum and dad drove over with Dillon for a week. Then I was left alone. Alone with Joules and Dillon. And very alone. This was the beginning of the hardest year of my life. Those children and families we'd spotted earlier? They had all gone back to school, nursery and work and the estate was empty, so different from the bustling hive of activity we'd fallen in love with. It was over a month before I spoke to any neighbours. I was unpacking some groceries from the car when a neighbour walked by with two young children. She invited me in for coffee and introduced me to another neighbour with a young child the same age. These neighbours were very kind to me and really supported me throughout that first year and Dillon now had three playmates.

Still I was finding life hard here. Joules had his old friends from school and Dillon had plenty of friends but I still felt like I had no focus besides Dillon. I was very upset a lot of the time and angry at other times. Joules and I would argue a lot about friends, he felt he could not help me, he couldn't go and 'buy me friends' and looking back I think I was depressed. Now I love it here and would never consider moving as the children are well settled, in good schools enjoying a good life (although I would like a bigger house but have you seen the mad price of real estate here)? So what saved me? I joined a tennis club having not really played for eight years. I was out getting fresh air and exercise and meeting people who I had more in common with than having children the same age. I can't express how much I love tennis, playing it for fun, competing in competitions, the social nights... Finally I had found something for me and all was well in our world.

P.S. The reason this post was late...tennis!

14 people had something to say:

frannie said...

wow-- I never knew all this about you.

great post about moving and being brave and picking yourself up.

Marmite Breath said...

I love that story, Beccy. And I can definitely relate!

Beckie said...

Great post, Beccy!

Sometimes it is really hard to make friends in a new place. I know I had trouble when we moved to TN for a couple of years. I just couldn't find anyone that I had anything in common with. If had been blogging back then we would probably still live in TN....

Sam said...

Friends are so important. Sometimes we forget how much. One reason I love SF so much is the number of wonderful friends I have here now (Like your move the first year for me was pretty tough). Compared to London where I had a barely a handful of friends - now I feel settled and in my place.

john.g. said...

You star! Great post.

Melissa said...

This is an inspiring tale, and I relate, having moved into a new neighborhood and not knowing anyone.

Emma in Canada said...

I can relate to Joules in this one! William is going through a rough period right now, he really needs a few friends! I have all my activities and whatnot, and I think sometimes he feels a bit lonely here.

Steffi said...

Great post,Beccy and so I learn to know more about you!Really good!

Steffi said...

Great post,Beccy and so I learn to know more about you!Really good!

Karmyn R said...

I love the post, Beccy -

I've caught bits and pieces of this info from some of your others - but it is nice to read the whole history in one shot.


It is hard to find friends now that I'm older - I am hoping once the kids get back into school I can meet some more moms again.

Deborah said...

What a great post Beccy. I can totally relate - I feel that way right now! We keep moving around and it's very depressing. Even though I am Irish, I sound American and feel like the odd one out! ;-)

At least this time it's more of a permanent move (as in we'll be there longer than a year!) and I have made a commitment to get out there and meet people.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Debbie said...

What a wonderful wonderful post. And how fitting to the adventure that Terri is undertaking.

I really admire people who make the courageous move away from their comfort zones in order to forge a new life for themselves.

Thanks again for sharing. I enjoyed the read. :)

Barbara said...

Great post Beccy. It is always nice to know you a little more. I moved countries but it was before the children were born. Two of Bryans good friends had both married Australians and so we women were all in the same boat and became the best of friends. Imagine if blogs had been available then. I've become friends with an Italian woman who moved here recently and made contact with me via my blog. We got on well instantly through our love of cooking.

Pamela said...

we've talked about our retirement time coming in a few years-- and whether we really want to go someplace else... or stay where we have friends and familiar faces.

getting tooooo old to think about starting over